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tat on life and things •

i need a cigarette

it used to be about smoking but it’s not that anymore. it’s about the break. the momentary distance from everything and everyone—the door shutting behind you, the weight slipping off your shoulders just enough to exhale without effort. when the day becomes too loud, when your inbox is full of questions you don’t have answers for, when your face hurts from holding expressions that don’t feel real, you reach for something that offers structure. six minutes. a lighter. inhale. exhale.outside, the c...
tat on life and things •

the scroll is killing me

within five minutes of scrolling, i watched a video of a woman running through rubble, her son’s arm still in her hands. i double tapped. two seconds later, a meme made me laugh. then an infographic told me a genocide was occurring, and moments after that, i saw an advert for a women’s razor in a pastel pink bathroom. i learned something devastating, then i forgot it just as quickly. of course i care, but i am trained to move on.what we are experiencing is not just an overwhelming exposure to in...
tat on life and things •

i wanted to write for me. now i don’t know who i’m writing for at all.

i told myself from the beginning that this wasn’t about being impressive. writing wasn’t about making the kind of work that gets shared with snappy titles and digestible pain. i didn’t—no. i don’t want to be a think piece machine. i don’t want my stories cut into twitter threads or quoted out of context on someone’s pinterest board with muted colours and serif font.but now, i read my own drafts and ask—would they like this?they.the imagined, faceless reader. the one with a master’s in literature...
tat on life and things •

the kawaiification of japan

disclaimer: this is by no means an academic account of the japanese history—i am just a person writing on the internet about cultural happenings i’m interested in. if you want academic look at the reading list. :)japan has mastered the art of disguise. it didn’t just rebrand—it rewrote. today, when most people think of japan, they picture cherry blossoms, anime, vending machines that sing to you, and girls in pastel uniforms with wide eyes and soft giggles. they think of hello kitty. they think...
tat on life and things •

can i be your muse?

i don’t want to be adored.i want to be studied.not like a painting on a gallery wall, distant and still—i want to be the thing you can’t stop returning to with shaking hands and half-breaths.i want to ruin your routine.can i be your muse?not for art.for ache.for devotion.i want to live in the pauses.the quiet just before the kiss.the thought that drips slow and sweet through your day,unexpected but unmistakably mine.i want to be the distraction you stop calling a distraction.the pause in your pr...
tat on life and things •

i am angry. i am unlovable.

some feelings don’t even knock anymore.they just walk in. make themselves comfortable. sit on your chest like they’ve lived there all their life. and this one—this feeling—i don’t even know when it arrived. i just know it never left.i’m angry. and it’s not the kind of anger that burns quick and then clears. it’s thick. slow. the kind that clings to the inside of your ribs. the kind that disguises itself as detachment. it belongs to my mother and attached itself to me.i’m angry because i’ve had t...
tat on life and things •

just wear the damn outfit

every time i scroll through social media, i see someone begging for a trend to come back.i hope we bring back low-rise jeans.can we please normalise heavy eyeliner again?i wish i could pull off that outfit.and every time i read those comments, i want to scream: you can. you literally can.no one is stopping you. no one is policing your wardrobe. no one is waiting around the corner to fine you for wearing ballet flats or over-lining your lips or pairing a vintage tee with a long denim skirt.and ye...
tat on life and things •

the economy of beauty

beauty has never existed in a vacuum. every trend, every “must-have” look, every shift in what is considered desirable is tied to something deeper—politics, technology, cultural shifts, and most of all, money. the economy doesn’t just dictate what we can afford; it dictates what we even want in the first place.right now, we’re watching a shift unfold. the “lashless look” is creeping into the mainstream, with celebrities and influencers ditching the once-essential mega-volume lash extensions for...
tat on life and things •

did you know jellyfish aren’t conscious so they don’t know they exist

jellyfish have existed on this planet for over 500 million years. they have no brain, no heart, and no central nervous system. they move, they eat, they reproduce, and they die—without any conscious awareness that any of it is happening. they respond to light and touch, but they don’t have a mind that observes these things. they are alive, but not aware of life.i think about this often. not because i envy them exactly, but because the contrast feels stark. jellyfish are pure function. pure survi...
tat on life and things •

bring back segregation

on paper, we live in a post-segregation society. schools are integrated, workplaces are diverse, and major institutions regularly perform gestures of racial inclusion—statements, statistics, brand campaigns, and black squares on instagram. but none of that means what it claims to mean.in practice, many of the spaces that claim to be diverse are still deeply anti-black. the exclusion just looks different now. it comes in the form of emotional distance, cultural alienation, and social performance....
tat on life and things •

i need to move to a hot country

i think i was meant to live somewhere warm. not just in a wouldn’t it be nice kind of way, but in a my body and mind function differently under the sun kind of way. every winter, i feel it—the slow shutdown, the dull ache of grey skies pressing against my skin, the way my body curls in on itself as if trying to conserve whatever warmth it has left. the cold is a thief. it takes my energy, my joy, my ability to move through the world with ease.but when i step into the sun? it’s like everything in...
tat on life and things •

the dangers of radical white feminism and the rise of the “tradwife” aesthetic

feminism, in its most radical form, has always been about dismantling oppressive structures. but like anything that gains cultural momentum, it has been warped, co-opted, and in some cases, weaponised. radical white feminism—the kind that claims to fight for liberation while upholding white supremacy, class privilege, and gender essentialism—has long been an issue within feminist discourse. but now, in an almost paradoxical turn, we are seeing a growing rejection of mainstream feminism in favour...
tat on life and things •

i was one year clean from mitski

for about a year, i didn’t let myself listen to mitski. not because i stopped loving her. not because her music lost its grip on me. but because it clung too tightly. because her songs knew the shape of my grief better than i did.i was one year clean from mitski, and then i relapsed.it started, as it always does, innocently. i thought i could handle it. just one song. just one listen. and i chose square, like a fool who thought time builds immunity.“i tried to eat like your girlfriend / just tea...
tat on life and things •

i think i could fall in love with anyone

i’ve always been told i love too easily. that i let people in too quickly, that i see the good in them before they’ve earned it. but i don’t think love is something that needs to be earned. i think it’s already there, waiting to be noticed.for a long time, i thought love was something external—something i had to search for, something rare and specific, something i had to deserve. but the more i pay attention, the more i realise that love is not scarce. it is everywhere, in everything. and if i a...
tat on life and things •

when people decide what you know

there is a specific kind of frustration that comes with knowing something—really knowing it—and still not being believed. when your experience, your perspective, your understanding of the world is dismissed not because you are wrong, but because of who you are. it is a slow erosion of confidence, a quiet but persistent way of telling you that your knowledge does not count.philosopher miranda fricker calls this epistemic injustice—the idea that people can be unfairly discredited as knowers based...
tat on life and things •

compassion is not the antithesis of intelligence

there is a certain kind of person who believes intelligence is an excuse to be cruel. they mistake detachment for superiority, believing that to care deeply is to think less clearly. to them, empathy is an inefficiency, a liability in the pursuit of truth, an inconvenience to be discarded in favour of a more "rational" approach to the world.i have debated these people. i have sat across from them as they reduced human suffering to statistics, as they dismissed morality as nothing more than a set...
tat on life and things •

the commodification of healing

healing has become an industry.it’s impossible to scroll through social media, browse a bookstore, or even walk through a grocery store without being bombarded with messages about self-care, mindfulness, and “healing your inner child.” we are constantly encouraged to prioritise our well-being, to set boundaries, to embrace spirituality—but always in a way that can be neatly packaged and sold.healing, which should be a deeply personal and often painful process, has been rebranded into something a...
tat on life and things •

should i just get a diary?

i’ve asked myself this question more times than i can count. maybe it would be easier. maybe it would be safer. maybe it would keep me from spiralling into the uncomfortable space of asking whether anything i have to say actually matters.i’ve spent a lot of time unsure of my voice, of whether it carries weight, of whether it even has a place. i don’t think i ever truly learned how to trust my thoughts as valuable. i learned how to argue, how to analyse, how to present a case, but the deeper ques...